Dive in me

Hello everyone (like if I had a big audience !)

I had a nasty argument tonight before my friend left (and before I could watch that beautiful and sad movie and finally be alone) I really hate this and really don’t need this ! Nobody needs this in fact. We then apologized but the damage is done. It’s been done a long time ago in fact. The cracks are irreparable. Even the best glue in the world couldn’t do the job. I don’t wish my friend any harm but sometimes it’s better to step back and be apart and become your own person. It is so important to love yourself and take care of yourself. That’s why I am being so honest and open here. Nobody deserves second place. You deserve the best. And the other person in your life deserves the best too. Life is too short to be unhappy and dramatic and sad. It’s ok to be sad but not all the time.

I am moving soon anyways, so no more arguments, there is a beautiful and cute apartment waiting for me in another neighborhood (but still in the same city) It’s not a palace but it will be my space ! No one will hurt me there, I want peace and harmony, this is so important for me. I’m not gonna be here (on the computer) as often as I am right now, I guess it’s a good thing ‘cause I’m a little addicted to it ! I won’t be able to buy myself a computer and pay for the internet service right away, at least for the first couple of months…but there are a few things I would like to say. First of all, the title I chose ‘Dive in me’ was inspired by the song from Nirvana. And second thing, to my lovely stranger, I really hope we will stay in touch, I think we will. You always make me smile or laugh or think or else, it’s always a pleasure to see that a beautiful person like you really does exists even if you live miles and miles away, it’s always reassuring.

I really don’t know why I’m being so over dramatic tonight, I guess it’s because of the argument I had and the feeling that I’m leaving this place really soon, and all the boxes around me containing souvenirs and pieces of my life. I guess that’s enough to be over dramatic and you will forgive me for that I’m sure.

I’m not leaving this journal completely, this is not the last time I am here, but I guess with what happened I felt the need to write…and write…and write…with an open heart.

sincerly,

Lydia

xx